Reason 4: To Take Risks and Rebel

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Evaluating Risk	What is risk?
Taking Risks	Exercises

Evaluating Risk

From a very early age, most parents, grandparents, and providers have a strong sense of the level of risk-taking for each child in their care. You may be familiar with parents who had to call a poison control center five times in 1 year for one child and never had any cause for concern with another. Some children put everything in their mouths, climb up to the highest cabinet, and can't be trusted for 3 minutes alone in the backyard. Others seem to be born with an innate sense of responsibility and caution. You can probably tell your child's level of risk. This will be helpful in determining the activities that most appeal to his or her sense of fun and pushing the limits. There are risks of all kinds that we take every day—and, we take more when we are young. We want to push the limits.

To grow, a child must learn a lot of skills that we as adults often take for granted. It's difficult for us to remember how hard it was to go to our first dance. We had to risk that no one would ask us to dance, that we would not be able to dance very well, and that someone would make fun of us. For a child, these are big risks to take.

And as children approach puberty, virtually everything holds a small amount of risk because everything feels so new and unexplored. As greater levels of risks are achieved, most young people will continue to look for opportunities to expand their horizons and grow.

This is why drugs and alcohol hold such allure for some young people. When all other reasons are discounted, drugs may provide some kids with the chance to prove they "can handle it." Combined with a strong desire to be a grownup and images of people on TV and elsewhere drinking, smoking, and taking drugs, it's no small wonder some kids want to take this risk.

Some youth, however, take more risks than others. They are unclear about the boundaries. They may be unsure of rules and expectations. If they have an idea that they want to try everything in life and are not clearly guided into making smart and healthy decisions about these risks, they may think it's okay to include using alcohol, tobacco, and illicit drugs as part of that risk-taking.

If the child has this kind of temperament, we can help them find ways to test their limits. This might include involving them in outdoor programs with leaders who will help them climb mountains, cross streams on a rope, or otherwise push them physically. We can also charge them to apply their risk-taking skills to social, emotional, and intellectual situations instead of daredevil type stunts.

Action Steps

1. Again, this is a time to get lots of input from your child. It's okay to talk about risk-taking and what it means. Ask them what it means to them. Talk with them about all types of risk-taking and the advantages and disadvantages associated with each one. Kids and parents both need to acknowledge the consequences of risk-taking.
2. There are some children who seem to NEED lots of sensation or thrills in their lives. They like loud noises. They need a lot of stimulation to keep their attention. They seem to thrive on chaos. These young people are at particularly high risk for alcohol and other drug problems. You may want to seek the help of a professional if you believe that your child may have this type of temperament. There may be biological reasons as well as psychological reasons for this high sensation-seeking or thrill-seeking behavior.
3. And, there are also some young people who really want to rebel against society by engaging in antisocial behavior, juvenile delinquency, treating others poorly, and so forth. These young people often have not received the warmth and acceptance they needed while growing up. Children who experience rejection from their parents or other caretakers also appear to be at greater risk than other children for alcohol or drug problems. In addition, parents who have unrealistic expectations about their children's abilities, communicate with them in abusive ways (threatening, chastising, belittling, and criticizing), and use coercive limit-setting and disciplinary methods may increase the likelihood that their children will use alcohol or illicit drugs.

Research also suggests that supportive parenting patterns have the opposite effect. Parents who are warm and accepting, who express realistic expectations about their children's abilities, who are diligent and effective in supervising and monitoring children, whose limit-setting methods are noncoercive, and who spend time with their children, are much less likely to raise children who use alcohol, tobacco, or illicit drugs.

What is risk?

As discussed earlier, only you can determine the level of risk that your child is comfortable with, and which activities would be at that level. Listed below are a number of different levels of risk-taking activities. You may want to share this list with your child to determine which activities appeal to him/her most.

Exercises

Exercise 6:

Role Playing a Conflict

Introduction  Facts  Five Reasons Young People Give for Using Drugs  Summary  Exercises   Contents